The Very Sad Truth

People tend to be brutally honest with me. They think I can take it. Which I can. It's more that I just feel incredibly stupid for never having picked up these super simple pieces of information about myself; when strangers or people I barely know notice them right away.

For example .

Today on the cyber-wonder that is Facebook, I had a conversation with I'll Bite Your Face C*nt Boy.

So called because one day I was eating pizza at a friends and he was giving me a massage, and all of a sudden he leaned over and bit my cheek really hard. I'm fairly certain there were teeth marks imprinted on my face for several hours afterwards, and was suprised it didn't bruise. Strange boy. He likes to fantasize about killing children, and takes steroids. A fair bit. He also likes me; and has decided that we're soulmates and therefore, married. I talk back to him purely because he is quite hilarious, and because my current lover is nowhere near as clingy as he is and I'm an attention whore and need to be appreciated. The fact I'm slightly afraid he'll stab me in my sleep if I don't reply to his messages has NOTHING to do with it, I swear.

But I digress. Here is the conversation that took place, and to make it slightly shorter and less annoying to read I have so nicely abbreviated his name to IBYFCB.

IBYFCB  : Wanna be my super awesome gf ?

 

Me : Sure. What does it involve ?

 

IBYFCB : Um you lose all contact with other boys, you love me and we will do cute stuff.

 

Me : Is there a slightly less effort involving version?

 

IBYFCB : This is why your single :(

 

 

Why is everyone always so right about me? And why do I fail to realise these things about myself?

Oh well.

 

 

Be good little ones, til next time.