Or when I sit there remembering those times with all the crew at a party, hot and sweaty (but still fabulous) after dancing in heels and little dresses for hours, feet aching like we've walked a thousand miles and our whole body calling for sleep (which incidentally will never come).
Then I have other days - like today - where the most exciting thing I do is go to the shops and buy a packet of cigarettes and some sushi and drive home complaining to myself about how shit life is etc. etc.
People in other cars even stare at me like I'm a loony-escapee who just escaped out of a loony-bin; as I complain to myself (often times out loud), driving along. Today a little kid even pointed at me. I yelled at him through the glass, "So now you're the only one allowed to have an imaginary friend?!?!?! F*#%ing Ageism these days! Not young enough to harmlessly console myself out loud, but not old enough to drown my sorrows in loud music and drunken boys at a night club?!?!?! Where, oh baby Jesus, is the compassion in this world!".
Luckily (or unluckily, as the case may be); this small child did not hear my words, as their parents drove off; and I'm pretty sure I wasn't yelling loud enough to penetrate two layers of glass. However, I will content myself with the fact that the child in question -
a) now is perfectly oblivious to the world of teenage angst they will come to befriend in a mere 12 or 13 years
b) will be too afraid to leave the safety of their parents watchful supervision as they may be attacked by a Passion-Fruit-resembling-loony; and thus have self-taught themselves about 'Stranger Danger'
and c) , even if they could hear what I was saying, I doubt it would make any sense to their 3 year old brain.
And that was my totally beautiful and interesting day.
The only other highlight was getting more or less ignored by current lover-boy.
Earth to Lover :
I'm not looking for an in-depth conversation, an engagement ring or even a BOYFRIEND. All I want is a snog (ok I lie, a shag) and someone to share a cigarette with. For god's sake he doesn't even have to supply the cigarette!
Time to find a new one me-thinks. God knows how I managed to pick him out of all the other stupid girl-obsessed Italians running around. In fact, I've been warned off them before by a (possibly-homosexual-pending-further-enquiry) male friend; who had this to say on the topic of men of this ethnicity.
" Never go for those boys. all they want is for you to make them pasta, buy a BMW, become a so called 'Catholic', be dodgy and wear filthy Adidas clothing and have mullets... " ~ E
Wise, wise words. Why did I not listen...
Better still, why didn't I manage to find one who would have had a BMW. There would at least have been a point to shagging him then...
I guess, if I actually listened to E's advice, I might have learned something. And that is something we definitely couldn't have.
Chin up little ones, I'm sure I'll be back to fabulousity soon enough.
x
** UPDATE **
Dear Munchkins,
I decided to revisit and revise this post, as it was thoroughly boring and utterly shit-house.
I thought I might actually finish this post off by telling you a story about the boy I am going on a date with this weekend. He shall be known as Paintball Guy, as he works at a Paintball Range and enjoys dressing me up in his Paintballing gear.
We met one night a month or so ago, in a dark and lonely time when the lover was away at the coast (irresponsible boy that he his left me by myself for New Years as well - so I just kissed someone else at midnight ;) ). It was one boring night, and my best (straight) guy mates (we will call him Triton, after his awesome ute I sometimes drive) was just chilling at his house, whilst his whole family was up in QLD working on their house up there (his Dad own's a building company that he also works in). Their house is quite fucking amazing, it has two stories in brick and wood, with a deck/balcony complete with fully built-in BBQ area and sunk in swimming pool.
So this one night me and two of my friends went over (Barbie the stunning blonde besty I've had for years and years, and one of my other reallllllly good friends M who is also a total babe) and had a BBQ and a swim with Triton as his friends from his old school (all boys school may I add).
As I was driving, and Barbie doesn't drink, we were just being our normal selves (which is probably not that normal), and M was getting a little tipsy, with some of the boys joining her. However, we were controlling ourselves fairly well; and after chilling in the pool for a couple of hours we got out and ate and (the boys and I) smoked.
By this point (lets just call him...... Paintball Guy) was fairly drunk. And a couple of the other boys were on their way there. They were all very nice though, and as a matter of fact Barbie is going on a date with another one of them sometime in the new future as well. Once everyone else went inside, only me and Paintball Guy were outside with his friend Wombat Boy (because his nickname sounds like wombat, and he resembles one), chuffing some cigarettes and eating steak.
Paintball Guy somehow got it in his head that rapping/singing to me in pretty awful Croatian would be a good way to woo me (I suppose), but all it really achieved was the feeling of breaking all my ribs in silent laughter with Wombat Boy. I don't even speak Croatian and I could tell he was both tone deaf and shit at his national tongue. After a couple of songs, he asked me if I would go to the movies with him - and mainly out of pity I found myself agreeing. Also because if I didn't he might not have let me dress up in his Paintballing gear, and that would have been a TRAGEDY (it seemed like a good idea at the time)!
"Heck, I figured, he probably wouldn't remember it by the next morning!" I reasoned to myself.
I was very, very wrong. Not only did he remember; he told all the boys I asked HIM out! Luckily they all realised he was talking shit; and pissed themselves laughing the next night when they told me of this little 'development' at 12am in the Macca's carpark. I almost inhaled my lit cigarette up my left nostril, that's how hard we were all laughing!
He messaged me for a couple of days, until the day when we were supposed to have our date (coincedentially the same day Lover came back); but messaged me on the day saying that he was grounded and couldn't make it. I had been trying to get out of it by making it seriously akward, and was quite pleased with the result at the time.
However, when he messaged me tonight and asked if we could go out this weekend, it was a Hallelujah moment. I've been feeling so alooooone recently, it was nice that someone wanted to see me.
Well, a male someone. And he doesn't even expect me to fuck him! So I'm going, and bollocks to all those little voices in the back of my head telling me it's a bad idea.
Hope that this has made your reading slightly more less boring and depressing.
Muchos Loveeeeeeee Amigos
No comments:
Post a Comment