^ You see that? THAT my dear friends, is my sigh of relief and content when two months of near grovelling paid off. Because today, I was woken up by a magical phone call (and yes, it was such an important phone call that I did not yell down the phone line and make the caller wish they'd waited until I had a couple more hours sleep and several delicacies from MacDonalds in my belly - I actually politely listened and replied).
Do you want to know why I sighed that exact sigh of relief after that exact (magical) phone call? Who am I kidding, no one gives a flying eff-muncher what it was about. But I will tell you anyway.
I got a call at 11:30am telling me that I started work tomorrow.
I know it may not seem a very exciting prospect to those of you out there with nice jobs and cushy little salaries (mundane, even?); but for little old almost-6-months-out-of-work me - let's just say I couldn't have been happier.
And as I hopped out of bed and sprung down the stairs, without falling for once, and put on the kettle to make my morning Hot Milo; I thought to myself - clearly someone is feeling sorry for me up there in the cloudy kingdom of Heaven, I wonder what other lovely things they are going to send my way to pull me out of my well of stinkivity (or life, as some call it).
So I hopped on the internet and did a little checking of my various accounts; Blogger, Facebook... even the Twitter account I used twice and abandoned yonks ago. But it wasn't til I got to my hotmail that I discovered the second of todays miracles.
My little inbox, which for weeks hadn't popped up over 47 unread messages (all of the unread ones are just unimportant Spam emails from places I accidently gave my real email to, instead of my fake 'come-at-me-hackers-and-spam-cos-I'm-not-gunna-read-you-anyway' one); suddenly had 3 new offerings.
Two of them were unbotherable (one from a driving school? HELLO PEOPLE I already have my licence, and even when I didn't that didn't stop me! ... and one from my mum, which was accidental, as she loves my brother more than me and every now and then sends me an email which was meant for him which I'm sure was just a ploy to make me jealous...) - but the third was GOLD. I finally heard back from this promotions company I emailed months ago.
The whole thing started when I ran into friends giving out lollies (and eating a good share of them too) at a local shopping centre, and was like, 'What the hell? Why are you giving away lollies? Are you poisoning children or just trying to be nice for Christmas so Santa gets you a Sugar-Daddy and an apartment with ocean views??"
Turns out they were at work, giving out lollies to 'patrons' of the shopping centre, whilst actually shopping and eating the lollies (the poor little sugary bastards didn't stand a chance against the girls) - all the while getting paid nearly $20 p/h for their.... how shall I put this... troubles?
Depressed and downtrodden after my failed attempt to get a job (which, as you read above - I GOT TODAYYYYY); I immediately enquired as to whether they were hiring. The girls gave me and email address and as soon as I got home (and remembered - so like a week or so later), I dropped them a line.
Anywho, today I opened my inbox to find an email from the promotions place, chock-a-block with information and lovely long attatchments for me to print out, sign and send in; in essence meaning - I GOT ANOTHER JOB.
Suddenly I felt like the Heavens were definitley shining down on me and I read on feverishly, my heart suddenly stopped (like a-dead-dude-when-he-hits-the-concrete-after-jumping-off-a-multi-story-carpark-kind-of-stop), as I read the last line of the email.
" Also, we would like to meet you next week on Tuesday Morning at 9.00am, would this time work for you?
Hope you are having a great week and I look forward to meeting you! "
No I cannot meet you, as I will probably going to be at work at my other new job on Tuesday Morning at 9am. Damn and blast! Why could you not have sent me this a week or two earlier and asked to have a catch up then, when I was not employed elsewhere?!?! Anyway, I calmed myself down, taking a large gulp of my milo (hot and strong, just the way I like it ;) ) and decided that clearly the big G was just making a slightly more intricate plan for my future employment. Maybe the offices would burn down on Tuesday and he was saving me from smoke innhalation and possible singeing of the eyebrows. Or maybe they were actually zombie demons trying to lure me in to eat my brains, and so by making me unable to attend the appointment he was actually saving my life. Smiling to myself and my wisdomosity (I like that word, just made it up, isn't it beautiful); I proceeded to download and print said forms.
And my printer decided to not work. Le asshole! What a time to go on the blink. But, remembering back to yesterday, and my solemn promise (haha - more of a boredom-and-curiousity-induced psychotic episode) to be healthy; I remembered that anger and stress are actually bad for you, and your blood pressure, and I was trying to avoid these things.
Then I remembered I still had a half a packet of Malboro's that my best mate gifted to me yesterday as she dropped me home; and went outside and smoked several. So I attempted to make them print again, lost my temper, hit Le Asshole with my hand on a weird angle and made it all tingly-sore; then sat down with the remainder of my milo and sore hand and wrote to you. Just in case you were in need of hearing about the mad rantings of an overtired (and now overstressed) teen.
And totally unrelatedly my Christmas present from dear daddy arrived today. And he really came up with the goods this time (like he actually did, it's pretty dang awesome if I do say so myself). He sent me, all the way from NZ, a SUSHI-MAKER! Dah-duh! And the weird thing is that when I woke up I was craving sushi. And now I'm thinking about it, as soon as I buy seaweed and boils some rice, I can make a hundred billion rolls of sushi in a hundred billion new-and-never-before-seen-or-tested flavours. For instance... pizza filling? I personally think that a Dominoes meat lovers on puff pastry, cut up into tiny strips and wrapped seaweed and rice would make a delicious and delectable new addition to the Sushi flavours family.
So chin chin good chaps. Top of the morning to you, and hope your day takes you somewhere marvellous. Even if todays marvellous-ness just consists of dreams of Dominoes-sushi.
Passionfruit Head
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