How To Catch A Pony

Dear Readers

Today, instead of entertaining you with a hilarious anecdote of my latest and greatest stunts and achievements, I thought I might distract you with a fully illustrated guide to catching ponies - to disguise the fact I am indeed far too lazy to write a half-decent post.

Please take this 'advice' with a warning, and a grain of salt. Ponies are mischevious and devilsome little creatures who would probably rather walk across hot coals than do any form of work (and the main objective once they are caught is often to exercise them). They will avoid being caught at almost any cost.

The only way to lure them in is with bait, preferably a carrot, apple or bucket of horse pellets.

However, the tricky little sh*ts will often eat it and f*ck off, with only a kick in your direction for your troubles.

Be careful the kick in your direction doesn't turn into a couple of hours in the ER and several days bedrest with a broken face.

It would probably be better to just ignore my instructions completely and never go near a pony; but that wouldn't be fun or adventurous (or distracting) would it.


Pip pip good fellows, and bon voyage for the wherever todays adventures take you.

p.s

I will probably blog tomorrow, whingeing of sunburn and the like - as I am going to the pool; and my near-albino skin doesn't react well to sunlight. But don't let me tell you I didn't know what I was getting myself into.

The same thing happens EVERY SINGLE TIME I go to the pool; and I never learn.

Oh well.

x