Dear Devoted Readers (ha ha)
My many sincerest (ha ha) apologies for not writing sooner.
Or at all for that matter.
I am here today to rectify the situation - and hopefully you can understand why my posts have been so few and far between of late (or in fact so few at ALL).
Firstly because I am one of the laziest people ever to walk the face of the Earth. Secondly because I have been incredibly busy; and thirdly, because I do not have a computer of my own; and the other member of our family who uses the computer (so rudely, as she has her own laptop, and just can't be fucked to climb the stairs and go to it) has been robbing me of valuable blog-writing time. At least at times of the day when my brain is not shut down entirely (which is most of the time at the moment, to be honest). Here is my week babes and babe-keteers (honestly, the things my brain thinks up whilst running on -10 hours of sleep, and donut-induced nausea). Hope it satisfies your blog-thirst.
Basically, I have been working. Almost every day. Overtime. Way way way too hard.
By myself. And at a level of responsibility and superiority that is probably not wise to trust me with; as I am more than apt at fucking everything up.
But they are pretty desperate I suppose.
I can now
- open the store
- close the store
- bank (carrying over 3 grand in CASH by myself to the bank; just a touch daunting. And a wonderful point at which I celebrated my 1.5 week employment-versary...)
- train and supervise other staff members
- do most of the management stuff
Pretty good for 2 weeks? Trusting mother f*ckers.
But that's enough shop talk (ha ha ha). Let's just say that if I went into proper detail, you lot would be easily as sick of it all as I am.
And that's like, terminally ill.
I should be in respite care, almost defintely.
In other news, I have decided to demote
Lover to
Sparky . Frankly, he doesn't make enough effort; and I need to find someone who will actually bother to chase me once in a while. Even if they know without much shadow of a doubt, they're getting a root for their troubles. Ah - the rudeness and lack of chivallry of the gentlemen of today still sucks. I thought getting naked would at least get me a massage or a nice dinner once in a while.
Blergh, who am I kidding?
A friend from the past (let's just call him
Wog Boy, or
WB for short) has been visiting me almost every day at work (and by visiting I mean; listening to me whinge about work as he helps me put away stock, do rubbish runs and generally stave off boredom). My manager
K even lets him come into the store at night and help us do final close. The sad thing is that he probably does half our work, but all he gets in return is me flinging insults in his direction.
I guess my company makes up for it though :)
Oh I almost forgot - and I SWEAR this is the last work related thing I'll say -
K is pregnant and therefore leaving (aka it was her LAST DAY TODAY)...
PERMANENTLY! So I'm going back to school a little late so that we can get the shop running okay before I can't be there every day. But we still won't have a manager. So basically we're fucked.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY, work is awesome.
Anyway,
WB has managed to get a crush on pretty much everyone I work with. And I feel slightly awful because most of them have older boyfriends. And he thinks the fact that he's a big muscly Greek dude will get him all the bitches.
Nay,
WB, nay.
It's really strange though, because I've known a couple of the girls for a long time, and him for longer; and they think
HE is pretty.
But he's just
WB to me.
But yeah, I said I'd return the favour and visit him at work on one of my day's off.
0 out of 3 isn't that bad.
But considering he comes into town (which is only like a couple of blocks away to be fair) even when he's not working, so he can pop by to see me after the gym; I kind of feel bad.
And he did get me free passes to the gym where he works; so I could come visit him legitimiately.
Being lazy is such an awful vice when it affects others.
But totally, TOTALLY a beautiful one if you're the lazy shit sitting on your ass.
To be honest I've been totally lacking in the interesting stories department. The only other real development is that I totally killed my diet.
I've been overindulging (like, SUPERSIZE ME overindulging) on every deep fried, calorie rich, sugar or salt drenched morsel (or five) that come my way.
Who fucking cares, it's hot as tits outside, so with any luck I'll either sweat all the kilos off or die in a bushfire.
And the sad thing is that it's hot as tits, at 2am. No wonder the insomnia is coming back like a boomerang to the eye cavity.
And for those of you who don't understand that simile; a boomerang is a traditional hunting weapon of the Aboriginal Australians - kind of like a bent stick that you throw at shit (thus killing or badly injuring it) which comes back to you after collecting a blow on your dinner. And it's a pretty fucking good simile because
a) It refers to my current location in a subtle yet amusing way
b) both boomerangs to the eye socket
and lack of sleep would contribute towards a purplish tinge underneath and around the eye (granted one example is a black eye, and one just under-eye bags of the same hue)
c) It's 2am and I managed to write this post, with similes included; and hopefully few enough spelling mistakes that someone can actually recognize this as English
Seems like my life might just be getting back to normal (aka INSANE LAND OF LACK OF SLEEP). And now I must go and rest up and a get a whole 2 hours sleep before it all starts over again.
Pip pip good fellows, til the morn'.
Or whenever I can be fecked to post next.
x
